I (30F) just let him (28M) walk away without telling him how I really felt

I am a tricky one. I am very introverted and how to be in a relationship has always been bit of a mystery to me. I do have a good group of wonderful friends, though. It was known that I am terrified of the "L" word. He knew it, I am sure that is why he never said it. Sometimes I thought I felt it but I was scared so I never said it to him either. Sometimes I let him know I was happy and appreciated him. Most of the time I kept myself emotionally distant. I was just unsure if I was ready for that step.

I met my BF last summer. It took a few months for us to really become a "thing," mostly my fault. It was another month before I actually heard him call me his GF. At first it was weird for some reason, but after a few weeks I realized I liked it. I was happy to be a GF.

After that it was nothing but fun. We are both very outdoorsy and spent a lot of the time snowshoeing, hiking, biking, climbing. Sex was WONDERFUL and often. I don't think we had bad sex once. We cooked together several times a week, I got along with his friends he got along with mine. We voted together, discussed philosophy together, played instruments together. We had our own separate hobbies but we should share with each other from time to time. We never had one fight. He never did anything that bothered me. I thought everything about him was wonderful and I admired him. I went out of my way here and there to do something nice but he was always 3 steps ahead of me.

Fast forward to early last week. He is ready for something more serious. But he can't see a future with me. I told him I understood and let him go. I didn't really cry. I decided I would work on myself. Go out with friends. Crying never solves anything anyway. Now almost a week later. And I know it is a week. But all of the regrets. I can't stop thinking about how I shouldn't had been so chicken shit and distant. I should had let him know at least how much he meant to me. I didn't really give myself a chance to think about it before but don't want to just end it. I want to take it a step further. I am ready for that step now and I am sure of it. If I had let him discuss it before or opened up myself maybe he wouldn't had thought the only option was to leave me.

The worst part is I got a text from my friend that night. He must have created an okcupid profile the minute he got home from breaking up with me.

Of course I am doing NC. I always go straight NC. But this is the first time where I don't want to go NC. The standard advice might be wrong for this situation. Should I at least tell him how I feel? What are the right words even if I did? Should I wait a little longer so the dust can settle? Just keep on the NC? Create an okcupid profile and say "hi?"

To make things more fun I still have his GoPro. I hate using it as an excuse to see him though so I was going to drop it in the mail.

TL;DR I had the perfect BF for me. I acted like a commitmentphobe. BF dumped me so he could go find love. Turns out I love him and I am not a commitmentphobe after all. And I have his GoPro.