r/relationships•
[deleted]

I (F23) am sick of waiting around in my 5yr relationship with M24

Some Background:

My partner and I met at university doing the same course and then both went on to do postgraduate degrees.

When we graduated, I quickly got a full time job and earn a tidy sum, which leaves me with a little left over to save each month. My partner on the other hand found it very difficult to get a job after his masters, having never had a job before, and went into retail part time for 6 months. During this time, I pretty much paid for everything other than rent and bills.

Then he got a new part time job, and the original intent was he keep both to bring more money in. Then he quit the retail job because he hated it and now seems content to work just 3 hours a day. I send him interesting jobs that earn more to apply for, but he always finds a fault with them or talks about loyalty to his current company, which is about to make redundancies. So we're pretty much back where we started.

The crux of the matter:

We've been together for 5 years and have spoken about our future together...mortgages, marriage, children, and I'm keen to get started (not get married yet or anything, that's a few years or so down the line) I'd like for us to start saving for a deposit for a house so we can buy in the near future, but a) he doesn't have the money and b) when I ask about his timeline he says 'I dunno, few years?' and leaves it at that. It just makes me think...am I going to be waiting another 5 or more years for our lives together to start?

He says I'm too stuck in the future and am rushing things. Am I? I've always been a go-getter so I just want to get going.

TLDR: 24F frustrated by 25M who is happy to coast along and not put his money where his mouth is when it comes to the future.

Posted Apr 14, 2013, 12:21 AM UTC

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