Why GI Joe Retaliation is the Best Movie Since Predator

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I’ve seen some great movies. The Empire Strikes Back, Saving Private Ryan, Heat, Goodfellas, Groundhog Day, Inception, The Dark Knight. But all these movies are Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance compared to the powerhouse I call G.I.Joe Retaliation.

Let’s start with the actors. Channing Tatum makes Arnold Schwarzenegger’s legendary character Dutch from Predator look like a pussy. He’s extremely believable as a tough, deadly soldier. Bruce Willis’s tour de force performance as General Joseph Colton rivals that of Michael Winslow’s performances as the funny noises guy in the Police Academy masterpieces. And finally what can I say about The Rock. He is my generation’s John Candy, a brilliant actor endowed with more muscles than Christian Bale in The Mechanic.

The battles between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow rival that of any Bruce Lee film and the fight between Firefly and Roadblock had more tension than Pacino meeting De Niro in the diner in Heat.

I really hope I get fired on Monday. It would be the only way I could watch this film over and over in my local multiplex all week. This film’s beautifully written dialogue is absolutely riveting and rivals The Gettysburg Address by Abraham Lincoln, the president not the vampire hunter.

Quit your job and run to your local movie theater.