I [f21] am in a great relationship of 6 years with [m25] but also in love with my best friend

Two years into our relationship I met this guy, and we immediately became best friends. He was very special to me from the beginning on, but it wasn't for two years until i noticed i had developed strong feelings for him.

As I was (and still am) in a happy and well-working relationship with an amazing guy, I tried to ignore those feelings as best as I could, telling myself, they would go away with time.

Well, they didn't. I have been sort of in love with him (there is really no other way to put it, really) for four years now.

nowadays we're living pretty far apart, so we only get to see each other a few times a year, but when we do, it is so intense. the weeks after I cannot stop thinking about him ever, I feel like an 11 year old crushing for the first time, it's ridiculous. Eventually it gets better again, but I still think about him so much.

I fucking hate myself for it and i would give everything to not feel this way, but apparantely I am very much in love with two very different people at the same time.

To this day, I have no idea how my best friend feels about me. He has never had a girlfriend, that's actually the one thing we never talk about, he's very secretive about this matter. He isn't the kind of guy to express his feelings for me, if he had any, especially in regard of me being a relationship.

Of course I have thought about telling him about my feelings a million times, but I've never brought up the courage and I'm not exactly convinced that that's such a brilliant idea.

what the hell should i do?

i know it's a bit of a classic - but i would appreciate any advice you've got for me, redditors!

*TL;DR In a happy long term relationship but having intense feelings about close friend for long time.