I feel like I was born in the wrong decade to be happy in a relationship.

Full disclosure: 1. I know my last boyfriend cheating on me has messed up my entire view of relationships, and the male gender. I don't want it to. That's why I'm posting here. 2. I know that everyone has their own view on what a great relationship is, and that's totally cool with me. I'm just looking for the piece to my own particular puzzle.

After finding out that my ex cheated on me I've done a lot (way too much) thinking about what I want in a relationship. One of the things that really bothered me about him before I found all this out, is that he spent a fair amount of time looking at sexy pictures of amateur women (like gonewild, but a different website). I always thought I was really progressive when it came to stuff like that, I'm totally cool with porn, strippers, even things like lap dances. I can't even articulate why these more "amateur" sites bother me more than traditional porn, but they really do. After talking to a couple of my male friends, they seem to think I'm being unrealistic to expect a boyfriend to not be interested in things like this.

I don't take pictures of myself and post them online because I have a more traditional view of things. I don't want men that aren't my partner oogling me. Again, I don't judge other women who do - because it's their body and their choice - but this is just my decision and my ideal for a partner. I don't show my body off to other men, and in return, they stay away from sites like those above.

I guess my question is... Are my expectations totally outdated? I've been casually checking out online dating (not quite ready yet, just looking) and a lot of men have this website as one of their INTERESTS. I just need to know why porn isn't enough for (some) guys and if there are any men who feel the same way about these things. Maybe I need to reevaluate what I'm looking for?

[This came off so ranty, I'm having trouble putting what I'm thinking into words. Please feel free to ask any questions]