For those struggling with their person..

You don’t have to suffer through their addiction. You can have boundaries and respect for yourself, and it wouldn’t make you a bad person to leave the addict.

I dated someone for five years, and I knew he was an addict for the last three. I’m not bragging, and I’m not proud but goddamn I was patient, I was hopeful, I trained myself to be understanding, I tried fucking hard to see his addiction separate from our relationship. But it shaped everything about us. How we started, who I was to him, how he valued and treated me, how he handled me. And I just wanted him to love me, and so I let my insecurities soar.

Admittedly I have my own faults, but I was faithful to him, truly only had eyes for him. I wanted so badly to get over this detrimental stage in our lives. I wanted to be by his side when he would triumph over his addiction. “It is hurtful, but I will be so proud of him…” I’d tell myself those sort of things. He didn’t see things that way.

I realize I’m to the point of venting. I’m writing because I’m not his girl, and his addiction doesn’t wear me down anymore. I want to find a soft spot for him in my heart, but right now I feel like I hate him. He didn’t deserve me. I don’t wish him ill, but I do hope he knows he was not worthy. I wish I hadn’t let myself be overcome with a savior complex.

For those in a position that feel like they NEED to be by their partners side… you need to be by your side. Respect yourself, represent yourself, take care of yourself, separate yourself. Don’t knowingly stay in a position of hurt. If someone close to you was experiencing what you’re feeling, would you encourage them to stay?