[1810] Black Backpacks, part 1

Hi all,

I'm so grateful to everyone here who reads my work and critiques it. You guys have helped me so much. I hope everyone knows how much I appreciate the time it takes to write a good critique, etc.

This is part of a chapter in the novel I'm currently revising. This isn't the whole chapter, it's only half of it. My MC and his sister are on a drug run. As in, they work for a dealer, they aren't just going to a friends house to score some weed for themselves. My MC is 15 and his sister is 18. This takes place in the early aughts, also. So things like GPS weren't as widely available. Since this is chapter 7, there is no character introduction.

Also, in the previous chapter my MC met some lot lizards at a truck stop. In this chapter they encounter one of them again.

My work:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1siBCHgFiyMWKLa\_\_HAJZymtEgvm2xcnX1YWRU8YMHSc/edit?usp=sharing

I'll come right out and say it. I know the prose could be better in this chapter. I'm a minimalist writer. I try to say what I need to say in as few words as possible. But I think this chapter is too minimal.

In my opinion, all feedback is good feedback. I don't mind harsh critiques because they help me improve more. So, don't be scared to hurt my feelings. But like I said, all feedback is good feedback.

Thanks in advance,

V.

Recent critique:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1ca5rxk/comment/l0q0jzh/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

(The thread is deleted. But I can still see it in my profile.)