Vent post

I guess I just feel sad. I wish I had someone for me and only me. A mommy to micromanage my life and take care of me, to put me in my subspace, understand me and make me feel safe. Someone to take all my worries away and give me peace. Maybe my expectations are unrealistic and maybe it's too much to ask. I don't even know anymore. I've tried searching for people online and irl. On multiple places and many times. But still nothing. It just sucks having to go through things feeling lonely while having people around that don't get you. I apologise if this post doesn't belong here , I just feel awful thesedays so was trying to let it out or whatever.