Relationship advice needed-I'm just confused about what happened in my last relationship lol

I (ENFP M) got dumped by my ex a while back only after ~3 months of dating/being in a relationship. I didn't realize this while I was in the relationship, but during the relationship, she was passive (or sometimes passive aggressive) in communication and not expressing her needs. I essentially had to do a lot of figuring out about her needs, preferences, boundaries, and emotions on my own. She also withheld information from me until it was too late to act on/make remedies and people-pleased me. One thing she told me that stuck with me to this date is "I don't really like to talk about my feelings and what's on my mind because I sometimes hope people can just get them." In the end she broke up with me because she felt like everything in the relationship was wrong for her. It hurt because I was very much in love with her.I'm recovered emotionally now but I'm still frustrated and confused about the whole situation because it feels like she just left me hanging while I was trying to build the foundation of the relationship. Sometimes I wish she could be open with me when we were together, so the relationship could be shaped to something she would enjoy as well. But she didn't, and it is maddening. I didn't realize she might be ISTP until after the breakup. I've seen posts about how "incompatible" ENFP and ISTP are, but honestly, I wish she could've just been brutally honest with me since the beginning because I'd take that over a heartbreak. Anyways, I feel like what I was dealing with was more than just personality differences here.

As an ENFP that's relatively inexperienced in early dating/relationships, I definitely made a fair share of my own mistakes (falling for her hard and asking her to be my girlfriend too quickly, and overcommitting myself to relationship). But I expected her to have a say and voice her opinions as an equal partner in a relationship. I can't see any ways I could've gotten the relationship working with her, especially because it feels like I didn't get any help from her. I also stayed way too long in my first relationship before having to break it off, so that was a problem too. And now, I'm not even sure what a "healthy" relationship looks like, and that just adds to the frustration.

So fellow ENFP peeps, I got some questions for you:

1. what does compatibility mean to you as a fellow ENFP? To me, all personalities should be "compatible" if there is communication, commitment, and compromise. Compatibility should really just be life goals and values.

2. how do you know when a relationship just isn't working?

3. I tend fall in love quick and hard, and I love hard if there's mutual interest. Are there any ways I can tamper that during early relationship?

4. is it too much to expect honesty and open communication that early in the relationship?

5. What does a healthy relationship look like to you?

6. also any thoughts on this situation?