My epilepsy will never go away

It's been about 5 years since I've been diagnosed and told I've actually had it my whole life, just didn't begin the grand Mal seizures until the diagnosis. Within these 5 years I've had 43 grand Mal seizures and every time the only thing they do is change around my daily prescriptions a little bit but at this point it just feels as though I'm going to be stuck in a state of panic that no matter where I am or what I'm doing I can go into an extremely embarrassing and kills my body for weeks after. I'm still not able to get my license back or get a job. I don't know what to do with myself.. has anyone else ever felt like this and what in God's name did you do to make things better?