Simple crush or something more?

I guess I kinda need some advice and I need it to be unbiased. I dated this guy about a year and a half ago after meeting on hinge. We were nothing serious, mostly casual dates and a physical relationship for a few months, and I admit I can be fairly clingy and scared him off, causing him to stop the dating aspect and me to break off any friendship too. Fast forward a month of two and we started to casually see each other again, but only in a friends with benefits sort of way. Now since then he’s moved states and our relationship is entirely friendship, sometimes more if both of us agree. Recently I went to visit him for a few days and just got back and I was hit with this realization that I have feelings for him, feelings I never had before, and now I like him. I’ve been crying ever since I got on the plane to come back and I’m not even sure what to do. I don’t think he likes me like that and I’m so scared of losing him, but the thought of him with someone else makes my chest hurt. i dont know if im asking for advice or any rational, i just know this is the first time in years ive felt this way, and i cant even blame him because hes such a good friend.