How does it affect mental health?

I (22f) feel like I’ve entirely lost myself as a human being. I’ve been in a relationship for 2yrs this year in October. Last year we got a 🎱 in October for my ole man’s birthday comin up. My boyfriend’s done his fair share of drugs and was addicted to meth at one point for awhile. I’ve never done coke but his friend was at our house so they were playing video games, doin lines, etc while I was asleep. I woke up around midnight and did my first ever line. Welll it turned into a 2-3 month bad habit. I have an infant in the picture as well. So it was constant anxiety and the fear that she’d end up finding some crawling around on the floor & ingest it. I felt so guilty for being such a shitty parent and person. Towards the end it no longer became fun. It was constantly never sleeping, eating, always running out & fiending for more. We’d get more and it was the same cycle over again. Some of it was good rocks & some had been stepped on real bad. At one point there was no coke we were doing bumps of meth. Anyway, I feel like since after I’ve stopped doing coke for these past two or so months I’m always angry. I lash out at my boyfriend over the littlest shit. Any small inconvenience and I’m irrationally pissed off. Is the anger something that sticks with you once you’re off cokw? I’m sorry for all the rambling and unsure if this is the right thread to even ask this on. I just miss the person I was before the drug abuse. Dropping $4-600 a week on it I’ll always regret. God I’m sorry for RAMBLING UGH . I’m just lonely and my thoughts are killin me.