AITA about my desire for a baby shower?

For some context, my first baby is due at the end of July and I really want to have a baby shower for my side of the family: I love family gatherings and I don't get to see my family that often. I am having a shower in a different state for my husband's family (both of our families are too large/geographically distanced to have one single event) but my husband's relative is putting it on, so I am uninvolved.

My mom informed me that because "we aren't close anymore" and "I don't respect her/treat her as number 1" she refuses to have/organize a shower for me. She "doesn't want to pretend we have a relationship in front of her family" by hosting a shower. I am very hurt by this, as this will be her first grandchild and I just think it is rude the way she is going about it. My parents are not financially struggling in the slightest and my mom is unemployed so there are no work-related conflicts. She has reminded me multiple times, without my prompting because I try to avoid the subject, that she doesn't want (emphasis on desire) to host one and its like rubbing salt into a wound. She then freaked out on me the other day because I told her I don't want to put her name on the invitation as co-host because she isn't helping me at all/paying for it. She has said multiple times she just wants to "show up" so I don't think it is fair for her to get credit for that. She says I am disrespecting her for not involving her in the planning but simultaneously hates my ideas.

My husband and I want to put one on ourselves, since not a single person on my side of the family has offered to host/co-host one: I would be willing to pay for/organize everything if they would have it at their home. Husband and I tried to find a venue closer to where everyone lives (we live a couple of hours away but well within driving distance) but the prices were way out of our budget and we couldn't afford it. We thought it might be nice to have a coed baby shower/housewarming party at our house since we recently moved: we have a lovely garden and it would be really fun. I understand it wouldn't be well attended due to distance, but we could invite some of our new neighbors and wouldn't have to travel while I am 9 months pregnant. Both of my parents hate the idea and told me I should just send everyone a card informing them I am not having a shower and they can send me gifts through X registries. I think this is very inconsiderate and embarrassing quite frankly.

TLDR: Lots of back and forth about a baby shower. Do I just do what we want or scrap it all together? Does anyone have any personal experiences with this?