AITAH? I asked my bf for “attention” after his grandmother died. URGENT!!

My bf and I have had a rough few weeks. 2 weeks ago he said “who the fuck are you? I’m not gonna put you on a pedestal. Do u even know how many offers I had?” - when I asked for special treatment for my virginity and we got into a fight over it.

Next week, he said “I’m not gonna take this attitude from someone like you” (I was basically acting like he does- pick up calls late and then cut the call soon). Then “joked” it would take me months to get to his level. Then sent a miserly “I’m sorry babe love u”. After that his grand mom died so I had to act okay. I spent hours with him. 2-3 hours every day on call and kept checking every few minutes and ordered him food etc. I didn’t even bring up what he said.

He got fine and so did i. I then tried talking to him about his lack of efforts to which he got really pissed and started saying “who the fuck are you to ask me for efforts? And what have u done for me?” Just saying, I have done MMORE than plenty and I never even got a rose in return in 8 months of dating. I apologised anyway , we re fine again.

Now he went to his grand mom’s house 10 days after she died. He sent me some food over in return for a surprise I got for him randomly. I also wrote him a letter the next day.

The thing is. I called a bunch of times. I texted too, asking if he’s okay etc. I didn’t get any reply nothing while he was there. He texted back 20 hours something later that he’ll call tomorrow. The he next day too he took around 20 something hours again to text back. All the while he came online MULTIPLE times in between.

Today he came back home and started telling me how he hung out with his cousins and had a lot of fun. He said he really enjoyed and told me stories how they went out for food etc. This made me a bit upset because I spent 3 days continuously looking at my phone for a reply.

After we were don’t talking. We cut the call and I called him again. I told him he should have texted. I said “u should have texted. I understand you were busy and that this situation was different but please text me in a few hours from now on instead of 20 something hours so I wouldn’t wait. I said I understand if he won’t be able to talk even for 10 days at a time but just communicate it a little”. I mean it’s good that u had fun but you could have taken out 5 seconds to text back”.

His response was basically “how fucking selfish are you? You just crave attention. How fucking shitty are you to make me feel guilty over a text. I don’t owe you any texts. And this is a deal breaker for me. You are the most selfish person I have ever met and I will honestly never forgive you for this. I would never do this to you.” (He did worse. My grandfather was ill some time ago and I needed him and he called back like 12-13 hours later and when I acted upset as to his excuse was “I was sleeping for 12 hours”.. he said some really hurtful things like “who the fuck are you to ask me who sleeps for so long? I’ll do whatever the fuck I want “ and cut the call to my face and didn’t reply for another 2 days).

Anyway, I tried apologising and begging him to forgive me. I said he misunderstood and that I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings I just wanted to communicate politely and that this time I agree was an exception but it just always happens. He then started saying how I’m pathetic to ask him to apologise (which I never did). I started crying and begging him to be okay but he cut the call.

I always took pride in the fact that I’m really caring and not selfish, but is he right? AITAH?