I See a Red Door but I'm Not Painting it Black (Spoilers Extended)

"I was looking for a house with a red door, but by night all the doors are black." -ASOS, Daenerys VI

Background

In this post I thought it would be fun to discuss Dany and her thoughts on her childhood home in "Braavos". GRRM has mentioned it so many times throughout the series that we will likely see this plot point come to a head at some point (maybe upon her return to Westeros).

A Game of Thrones

Back in A Game of Thrones, GRRM really hits down heavy with the mentions of the red door:

She remembered Ser Willem dimly, a great grey bear of a man, half-blind, roaring and bellowing orders from his sickbed. The servants had lived in terror of him, but he had always been kind to Dany. He called her "Little Princess" and sometimes "My Lady," and his hands were soft as old leather. He never left his bed, though, and the smell of sickness clung to him day and night, a hot, moist, sickly sweet odor. That was when they lived in Braavos, in the big house with the red door. Dany had her own room there, with a lemon tree outside her window. After Ser Willem had died, the servants had stolen what little money they had left, and soon after they had been put out of the big house. Dany had cried when the red door closed behind them forever. -AGOT, Daenerys I

and:

"We will have it all back someday, sweet sister," he would promise her. Sometimes his hands shook when he talked about it. "The jewels and the silks, Dragonstone and King's Landing, the Iron Throne and the Seven Kingdoms, all they have taken from us, we will have it back." Viserys lived for that day. All that Daenerys wanted back was the big house with the red door, the lemon tree outside her window, the childhood she had never known -AGOT, Daenerys I

and:

Dany had only meant their rooms in Illyrio's estate, no true home surely, though all they had, but her brother did not want to hear that. There was no home there for him. Even the big house with the red door had not been home for him. -AGOT, Daenerys I

and:

She did take a dozen flasks of scented oils, the perfumes of her childhood; she had only to close her eyes and sniff them and she could see the big house with the red door once more. -AGOT, Daenerys VI

A Clash of Kings

In ACoK we only see it mentioned (twice) during her visit to the House of the Undying:

I know this room, she thought. She remembered those great wooden beams and the carved animal faces that adorned them. And there outside the window, a lemon tree! The sight of it made her heart ache with longing. It is the house with the red door, the house in Braavos. No sooner had she thought it than old Ser Willem came into the room, leaning heavily on his stick. "Little princess, there you are," he said in his gruff kind voice. "Come," he said, "come to me, my lady, you're home now, you're safe now." His big wrinkled hand reached for her, soft as old leather, and Dany wanted to take it and hold it and kiss it, she wanted that as much as she had ever wanted anything. Her foot edged forward, and then she thought, He's dead, he's dead, the sweet old bear, he died a long time ago. She backed away and ran. -ACOK, Daenerys IV

and:

Faster and faster the visions came, one after the other, until it seemed as if the very air had come alive. Shadows whirled and danced inside a tent, boneless and terrible. A little girl ran barefoot toward a big house with a red door. -ACOK, Daenerys IV

A Storm of Swords

In ASoS it is only mentioned once while Dany peers out over Meereen:

"Your Grace?" Missandei stood at her elbow wrapped in a bedrobe, wooden sandals on her feet. "I woke, and saw that you were gone. Did you sleep well? What are you looking at?""My city," said Dany. "I was looking for a house with a red door, but by night all the doors are black.""A red door?" Missandei was puzzled. "What house is this?""No house. It does not matter." Dany took the younger girl by the hand. "Never lie to me, Missandei. Never betray me." -ASOS, Daenerys VI

A Dance with Dragons

With no Dany chapters in AFFC there are no mentions, but ADwD is full of them:

Dany clutched her lion pelt to her chest. Underneath, a sheer white linen tunic covered her to midthigh. She had been dreaming of a house with a red door when Missandei woke her. There had been no time to dress. -ADWD, Daenerys I

and:

It was the black of night outside. Something is wrong, she knew at once. "Is it Daario? What's happened?" In her dream they had been man and wife, simple folk who lived a simple life in a tall stone house with a red door. In her dream he had been kissing her all over—her mouth, her neck, her breasts. -ADWD, Daenerys II

and:

Dany had never known a home. In Braavos, there had been a house with a red door, but that was all. "Beware of Qartheen bearing gifts, especially merchants of the Thirteen. There is some trap here. Perhaps these ships are rotten, or …" -ADWD, Daenerys III

and:

Dany unrolled the parchment and examined it again. Braavos. This was done in Braavos, while we were living in the house with the red door. Why did that make her feel so strange? She found herself remembering her nightmare. Sometimes there is truth in dreams. -ADWD, Daenerys VII

and:

She would rather have drifted in the fragrant pool all day, eating iced fruit off silver trays and dreaming of a house with a red door, but a queen belongs to her people, not to herself. -ADWD, Daenerys IX

and:

The sight of all that grass stretching out before her had taken her breath away. The sky was blue, the grass was green, and I was full of hope. Ser Jorah had been with her then, her gruff old bear. She'd had Irri and Jhiqui and Doreah to care for her, her sun-and-stars to hold her in the night, his child growing inside her. Rhaego. I was going to name him Rhaego, and the dosh khaleen said he would be the Stallion Who Mounts the World. Not since those half-remembered days in Braavos when she lived in the house with the red door had she been as happy. -ADWD, Daenerys X

So Spake Martins

We also have George's comments when it was brought up a few times:

QUESTION: How old was Daenerys when she left the house with the red door, was it located close to the palace of the Sealord of Braavos?

GRRM: That's an interesting question. But I don't think I'm going to answer it. There's certain revelations about the red door that will come in the books that I still have yet to write, so um we'll get to that eventually. -SSM, St. Petersburg Interview 2017

and:

GRRM: ... the red door, what's going on with that, it's a very common question I haven't revealed that, you have to wait for these last two books. -SSM, Reginald's Book Club: 2023

Changed Lines

From u/gsteff's visit to Cushing: Secrets of the Cushing Library: Daenerys, the Ironborn and Jaime

we find out tha the ADWD sentence that as published read "In Braavos, there had been a house with a red door, but that was all" originally was this:

In Braavos, there had been a house with a red door, but only for a little while.

The Winds of Winter

From TWoW Mercy (an extremely old chapter that GRRM has revised from a post 5 year gap chapter to its current version, and may keep revising) we find out that GRRM really doubles down on this lemon tree/Braavos stuff:

“Seven hells, this place is damp,” she heard her guard complain. “I’m chilled to the bones. Where are the bloody orange trees? I always heard there were orange trees in the Free Cities. Lemons and limes. Pomegranates. Hot peppers, warm nights, girls with bare bellies. Where are the bare-bellied girls, I ask you?”

“Down in Lys, and Myr, and Old Volantis,” the other guard replied. He was an older man, big-bellied and grizzled. “I went to Lys with Lord Tywin once, when he was Hand to Aerys. Braavos is north of King’s Landing, fool. Can’t you read a bloody map?” -TWOW, Mercy

Tinfoil (Small Blackfyre Connection)

By night all doors are black. Even red ones. We also know that lemons grow in Tyrosh (which is a stronghold for the Black Dragon). We also know that Dany has at least encountered the Golden Company before (in an unconfirmed location):

Her brother Viserys had once feasted the captains of the Golden Company, in hopes they might take up his cause. They ate his food and heard his pleas and laughed at him. Dany had only been a little girl, but she remembered. "I have sellswords too." -ADWD, Daenerys III

If interested: Tyrosh: A Safe Haven for the Black Dragon

Other tinfoil about Dany's parentage exists, but I just wanted to mention the one that gave me the clickbaity title.

The Braavos/Dorne Connection

The main place in Westeros that is constantly mentioned is Dorne:

"Lemons. And where would we get lemons? Does this look like Dorne to you, you freckled fool? Why don't you hop out back to the lemon trees and pick us a bushel, and some nice olives and pomegranates too." -ASOS, Arya II

and:

The cake had required every lemon in the Vale, but Petyr had promised that he would send to Dorne for more. -TWOW, Alayne I

and:

This was a curious kingship, for whenever a king died, his successor was chosen by election from amongst a dozen noble families that had settled along the river or the eastern shores. The Wades, Shells, Holts, Brooks, Hulls, Lakes, Brownhills, and Briars all threw up kings who ruled from the high hall amongst the lemon trees, but in the end this curious system broke down when a disputed election set the royal houses to warring against one another. -TWOIAF, Dorne: Kingdom of the First Men

but we also find out that that while Dany was in Braavos, that someone from Dorne (Oberyn) visited (knowing she was there) to sign a secret pact:

"It is a secret pact," Dany said, "made in Braavos when I was just a little girl. Ser Willem Darry signed for us, the man who spirited my brother and myself away from Dragonstone before the Usurper's men could take us. Prince Oberyn Martell signed for Dorne, with the Sealord of Braavos as witness." She handed the parchment to Ser Barristan, so he might read it for himself. "The alliance is to be sealed by a marriage, it says. In return for Dorne's help overthrowing the Usurper, my brother Viserys is to take Prince Doran's daughter Arianne for his queen."

The old knight read the pact slowly. "If Robert had known of this, he would have smashed Sunspear as he once smashed Pyke, and claimed the heads of Prince Doran and the Red Viper … and like as not, the head of this Dornish princess too." -ADWD, Daenerys VII

If interested: Oberyn Martell's Whereabouts

Dany's Return to Westeros

As Dany returns to Westeros, I think she could find out about the climate level of Braavos as compared to the other free cities she will have experienced. Lemon Trees grow in Slaver's Bay as well:

Afterward her lord husband led his guests onto the lower terrace, so the visitors from the Yellow City might behold Meereen by night. Wine cups in hand, the Yunkai'i wandered the garden in small groups, beneath lemon trees and night-blooming flowers, and Dany found herself face-to-face with Brown Ben Plumm. -ADWD, Daenerys VIII

this will likely have some effect on her psyche, especially as she comes face to face with the fact that she is invading Westeros with an army made up of eunuchs, sellswords, former slaves and savage Dothraki.

TLDR: The red door/lemongate has been the source of plenty of tinfoil over the years and while I do think it is well deserved (due to it being obvious that either the memory wasn't in Braavos or she was conflating multiple memories), I don't think it is necessary for it to be as large a reveal as say a potential different parentage. From looking over all of this, I think that it can easily be as small as her spending time (say in Dorne or one of the Three Daughters) and conflating it with time spent in Braavos.