I really don’t know how I can deal with it anymore

Hi, so I was assaulted by my ex when I was 14 when we went camping and shortly after I broke up with him but he's followed my instagram account multiple times and even called me when I had trouble with my computer to try and help me and he twisted it into saying he wanted to get back with me and even admitted he assaulted me and that no matter what I will never get over it and how I probably wanted it to happen.

And now I just feel terrible. He has a new girlfriend and I'm not mad that he moved on as a ex stand point but I'm mad that he can live his life without the fact he assaulted me following him around. It was been 11 or so months since I broke up with him and guys don't even look at me (I think we went around saying I was crazy and everything) and yet he's has 2 girlfriends since we broke up and it just feels like out of the whole ordeal I'm the one who still has to pay the consequences when during the assault I was asleep and I wasn't even wearing anything revealing.

A Korn shirt and a pair of plaid pajama pants. And I have to be the one crying because I thought that insta notification was him and I was scared and I just feel like an idiot.

And now i had a girl text me on discord saying how I deserved to be assaulted and how I'm a whore for the whole thing when I know I did nothing wrong.