I have fingered roughly 21890 assholes in my life, I'm 27. AMA.

Not proud of it. Embarrassing and I don’t tell people. Like 2-3 of my closest friends know and that’s it. I’m average looking. Probably like a 7-8. Lost my virginity when I was 16. I had a 19 year old friend at the time who told me ‘everybody wants their asshole fingered, you just have to ask.’ I lived by that for the next decade and it worked. Along with an insane amount of rejections, which you get numb to very quickly surprisingly. The part that kept me going was (a) every asshole really feels different and more importantly (b) the adrenaline rush of not knowing if I’m about to get rejected or not. I would feel super high even after getting rejected as opposed to just disappointed in myself if I didn’t try.

After a decade I started getting paranoid of finger stds more and tried a couple longer term relationships. I’m diagnosed with severe ptsd and panic disorder. I don’t finger random women at all anymore but the desire is still there.

I see a lot of conceptions from men and women about people who make false claims about people who have had a lot of asshole fingering partners. It’s especially hard in person because I can’t just be like, ‘well I’ve actually had 150 asshole fingering partners so actually…’ because I’m an average looking guy and it’s just like yeah right dude

Fun fact. When I was 21, my best friend and I made a list of all the names of girls I had fingered and it was just over 100, I put that piece of paper in my glovebox and forgot about it. A week or so later I noticed it was missing. My mom had a history of checking my drawers and shit my whole teenage life so I know she found it. Never brought it up. It was just gone. No clue what she thought.

AMA

Edit: loving the skepticism, you guys are clearly haters who are jealous of me.

Edit 2: 202am EST on the 13th. I will be answering less questions until after 5pm due to work and another asshole fingering date. I plan on answering every question but I assume Reddit mods may lock it as they hate me for fingering more assholes than them.

Edit 3: a bunch of people are really hurt that I said I’m a 7-8 and that I’m average. Pro advice: if you’re a 6, you can turn yourself into a 9 by practicing your fingering techniques and buying lube.

Edit 4: if I don’t answer your question it means it’s been answered. Jeez. No one knows anything about basic butt stuff. Check out my comments.

Edit 5: 2:07am EST 6/13. You guys are commenting faster than I can read responses, let alone type a response. I’ll try to keep up a little more but will be ignoring anything I already answered as well as “liar” comments as well as uninteresting questions. My fingers are sore. There have been 3 or 4 fantastic questions that I really appreciate and feel like I was able to help people with. Thanks for coming to my asshole talk. Maybe you can be like me one day.

Edit 6: I won’t be even starting to look at my dms until tomorrow at the earliest. I will try to go through all of them though. Anyone who doubts me will be blocked, maybe you should go touch an asshole.

Edit 7: 2:09am EST 7/13. This is batshit insane. Sorry for all the one word responses and arrogance (it happens when you've fingered 21890 assholes). I’m literally going through thousands of questions and I’m giving no bs answers at this point. If you can’t handle it I think there’s probably a teletubbies subreddit. We all know they get freaky.

Edit 8: 2:11. You guys seriously need to start filtering by my posts. I'm the real deal, I've been posting about this for a decade. Plus I’m seeing the same questions asked 20-30 times, and it's really cutting into my asshole fingering time.