Just got a pep talk

I think I hid the sadness I felt when they left the room. Im the A+ master at masking the FBI could write notes an entire lesson on me. I managed to fool everyone and myself. God fuck I don’t know who I am. And I just want you to tell me. The worst part is how I both hate being alone but want to be alone because it means nobody will see through it. I get increasingly more paranoid someone will see through it and often have to remind myself who I am. This feels like a stupid inspirational film. The main character becomes a different person then forgets who they are at the end of it. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been I’m almost perfect but I still feel so lonely. I feel like I no longer have emotions. Yet people call me authentic. I’m a phenomenal freaking actor. Grade A+. Everyone loves me,I’m fashionable,I’m the most determined and self-improving, smart too. So confident right? But I am crumbling. And I know for a fact in 30 minutes for now im gonna convince myself im too close to perfection for therapy. When guess what I feel like even more of a fraud for saying this.