Avoided dealing with this for too long

I’ve been having abnormal pap smears for years but was always just told that they would “keep an eye on it”... I expected this last one a few months back to go the same way but when I was informed via voicemail that I was now positive for HPV and urgently needed to schedule a biopsy, it was pretty obvious that I had cause for concern just based on the tone of voice they used alone… I have never had a medical office leave me a message that sounded more harrowing than that one and it shook me a bit.

Fast forward a few months and I have been putting off getting this biopsy out of fear and denial, telling myself that there is no way anything serious could be wrong with me.

That’s when all the weird and embarrassing symptoms started popping up:

• Sex becoming more and more painful, specifically at my cervix when it never was before.
• Weird white floaters in my pee.
• Bleeding that lasted for half a day that was unlike any spotting I’ve ever had before.
• My discharge started smelling like something was off, even after checking for STI’s and showing clean results.

I have the biopsy scheduled for the 18th and I am so scared of even just getting the procedure done and am hoping there is some way I can get put under for it because I can’t handle being awake while they cut pieces out of me from such a sensitive area. I want answers but at the same time I am scared of what they are going to find and what that will mean for me.

Has anyone gotten conscious sedation for a biopsy before or just had one done in general that could share their experience? Anyone else notice similar symptoms to the ones I mentioned above? If you have any words of wisdom for me, please share. I hope this ends up just being a scare but I have a bad feeling about it.