Denial teaches me to love anal

For a few hours today I felt really sad that I don’t get to touch my pussy, that I can’t edge my mind away like all the girls I see and hear in the porn I watch. It’s especially hard when I listen to hot hypno files that encourage me to listen and edge.

I felt whiny and sorry for myself, and so I asked Master, I begged him, to allow me to play with my ass, since that’s the only thing he currently lets me do as solo play.

He’s kind and generous, so he allowed me to play with my ass however I wanted to for an hour and a half!!! Oh it felt amazing, to get so much freedom, to be able to control my own pleasure for a bit.

Of course my pussy was dripping and aching and jealous of being filled the whole time, and my clit was twitching uncontrollably as I stretched my ass more and more, and that horny need and ache of my pussy made me suffer so much while my ass gave me this intense and wonderful pleasure.

The pleasure from my ass flooding my mind making me feel soft and happy, while the suffering from my cunt reminded me how absolutely and irrevocably controlled I am.

Combined, these feelings pushed my mind into the docile surrender I love so much. The deep, instinctive acceptance that I am helpless, that I am owned, that I don’t get to decide what happens to my body and mind anymore.

When my play time was up, I happily gave up my freedom again, grateful for the opportunity to feel Masters power. Whether he tells me yes or no, whether he gives me pleasure or makes me suffer is starting to feel the same to me. Both are an expression of his power in equal measure and I am lucky to get the chance to surrender to him.