deep regret

I am writing this article to vent a little bit and get some support. Unfortunately, I am now afraid to go out and go to other places, especially in the evenings. Now, even though I want to go out and hang out when my friends call, I reject them and make up a lie. Just because of my eyes.

I have many complications. The worst of these is the contrast problem. And my brain doesn't want to accept this image. Even though I tried to get used to it, 10 months have passed since the surgery and I still can't get used to it. Yes, I quit my job because of this surgery and now I'm spending my time in a cowardly room at the family home. I left the house I rented and now I don't even earn money. This surgery ruined my life. I know you can't deal with this, yes. I know I have no choice but to push on, but this is really hard. If I had only one wish right now, it would be that I would never live that day and never have this damn surgery.

I don't know how to deal with this. My family doesn't seem to tolerate this anymore. They keep asking me if I have it all in my head or how difficult it might be to address a problem if there is one.

I really don't know what to do. Same complications every day. The surgery took away my eye quality and gave me only clear vision. Dealing with this is much more difficult than one might think. Please give me rare answers that I don't know how to deal with this and that you implemented. Because what I know doesn't seem to be of any use anymore.

I'm afraid to go out with these eyes. Even if I get out, my mind is always on my eyes and regret.