I’m not sure If these are red flags

Things started getting serious between me (30F) and this (30M) guy. We started off as friends after meeting online. We hit it off, but I wasn’t ready to date at the time. He was still very kind to me and even said when I felt like I was ready, he’d be there. He still took me out to dinner and lunch as friends and I began to develop feelings for him, and we decided to date with the intention of getting in a serious relationship.

He’s been so kind. Probably the nicest man I’ve ever been with. However, I worry on if there are red flags, or if he is genuinely overcoming trauma from a previous relationship. For starters, when I’d text him sometimes a short response or depending on the punctuation, he’d misinterpret the text and ask if I was okay. It was like he was worried about making me upset or worried I was upset about something. He said his ex would make him figure out what was wrong, so he had to be observant of how she acted sometimes. I explained how if I had a problem, I would be direct and communicate with him. He seemed relieved.

He also mentioned how he had a lot of women friends. He wanted to ask how I felt about it and just wanted to be transparent with me. I told him, I was fine as long as there are boundaries. One of his best friends is a woman. He seemed relieved and said it was a topic hard for him to talk about because he had issues like that with his ex. He explained a situation where his ex got upset about his friendship once, and got blackout drunk the next time they went out and started going up to men / flirting with them to make him jealous, while he was there. He said they went to couples therapy because he wanted to make things work, but it sounded like the relationship was overall toxic. It does sound like he’s painting his ex to be someone who was very toxic that brought him a ton of anxiety.

We recently had an issue, where I realized he blocked me from viewing his Instagram story. He had went out with friends and took two photos with 2 different women. The picture honestly looked innocent to me. I didn’t understand why he’d hide it from me.

I spoke with a friend of mine who said to talk to him about it, but be mindful that maybe this could be because of his past relationship and he didn’t want to experience an argument over something seemingly innocent. I addressed it and he was very apologetic and basically said he didn’t want me to think he was doing something wrong or want me to get upset about the photos. He explained how he felt like he couldn’t have a social life with his ex. That he was always walking on egg shells around her & he couldn’t be his true self.

I told him it was okay, and he shouldn’t feel the need to hide anything from me. He went down a long detailed explanation of the women, and at one point it felt like he was over explaining, like what a person does when they have anxiety. He said he wouldn’t do it again, he showed me his phone and unblocked me. And said he’d talk about it in therapy next time.

He told me he wanted us to be open and transparent with each other. I guess therapy also helped him see he’s still healing from his previous relationship. Part of me wonders if, he could possibly be someone who would play me. I also wonder if I was too kind and easy going when I confronted him. I’ve had men take advantage of me in the past and I don’t want that again.

Then another part wonders, if he’s a genuine man who let his ex mistreat him. I also wonder if he’s insecure. He mentioned thinking I was out of his league. He seems to be a lover boy and someone who is very giving in relationships. Like he would buy everything for his ex & spent a lot sometimes on her and her friends.

When I first met him, he actively pursued me even when I didn’t show much interest. I wouldn’t respond sometimes and he’d still message me, I canceled a date and he was understanding and still wanted to reschedule. I told him eventually I wasn’t ready to date and he was very understanding and respectful about it. I still wanted to be friends, so we began to have friendly meet ups and he was respectful & we stayed in touch for 2 months. At one point, I wondered what made him stick around that long. He said he really liked me.

Did I let him off easy when I confronted him about hiding his Instagram to me? Should I be on alert as I move forward with this relationship?

He also still follows his ex on social media, they both follow each other and I’m not sure how to feel about it .

TL;DR Guy I’m dating says he has trauma from his previous relationship. He has some female friends and said his last ex had issues with it. I told him I was okay with those friendships as long as there are boundaries. After saying that, things were okay with us , until I realized he had me blocked from viewing his Instagram story. He went out and took 2 photos with different women. It seemed to be innocent and I didn’t understand why’d he hide it from me. He apologized and unblocked me after I addressed it and blamed it on his trauma from his past relationship.