I’ve identified as demi for years now, but am I? Or am I ace and cupiosexual and too scared to acknowledge the truth?

I’ve identified as demi for at least 6 years now. I’ve also recently added demiromantic to my labels. But I keep worrying that the demi experience is just one I’ve latched onto because I’m afraid to be alone and afraid to never experience love and attraction in my life.

Demi people seem to mostly know they’re demi because they’ve had attraction to someone they were close to in the past. Is it possible to feel like I’m capable of that without having ever actually experienced it?

I’ve never really had a true crush. I haven’t ever been attracted to someone, at least not sexually and not in person that I can really tell. I’d argue if allo levels of attraction are 100%, then I think I’ve experienced 2-10% attraction to any one person. That’s how it feels, anyway.

But because I’m autistic and don’t ever have a big group of friends and have never actually had a straight male friend, I’ve never even had the chance to find out if I could feel more attraction to someone by being friends with them.

The reason I still feel the label fits is because I know for certain I am basically demi when it comes to friendship. By that I mean, it takes me a loooong time to feel safe with anyone, and to feel comfortable being friends takes me way longer than other people. That makes me think I’m probably the same sexually.

Idk dude, I hate still being unsure about who I am by this point. I know labels aren’t perfect and we can just use them as tools, but I have yet to really understand myself and that bothers me.