Alone forever?

I am genuinely afraid to be alone forever. I’m a 25F, and I have never been with anyone and it feels now like it might never happen. I’m shy but I’ve been trying my best to meet people, and I’ve used many dating apps. Admittedly, at first I didn’t take the apps seriously, but in the last year, I’ve really been doing my best and it’s just not working out. And I just want to know what it is that’s wrong with me exactly, and what I can do to change it. Is it the way I look, how I speak, my expectations of others? No one close to me can give me an objective answer. And to be honest, I notice that I become addicted to these apps, compulsively checking them, swiping endlessly, it all just feels so shallow and meaningless.

I’m told that I’m too picky, and I’ve tried to force myself to settle even when I’m not feeling it, but the thought is somehow still worse than the idea of being alone. Then I’m told that I should just focus on my career, but I’ve spent my entire early twenties focusing on my career and I’m tired. I keep replaying all the opportunities I had to be with people, men who liked me and I liked back, then I just threw away because I was scared or it was just not the right time, and I wish I could go back because now I’m wondering if that was it for me.

I’ve been trying these last few weeks to process the idea of being alone, and doing things alone for the rest of my life. It’s making me sad, especially as I see all my friends married and making memories with the one they love. I’m trying to be okay with it, but my soul honestly feels crushed. I know you have to find your own happiness before you can be happy with someone else, and I have found things that make me happy - but it’s bullshit to say that things aren’t more fun when you have someone there with you - a partner, a friend, someone to have your back and who’s back you can have in turn.

I don’t know what to do anymore, but I think the only thing left to do to keep from going crazy by these thoughts is to give it up, swallow my sadness and live my life as best as I can. Alone.