my patience is running out

im really tired. its been years since ive enjoyed anything at all. i feel like im just watching myself do stuff from the outside but my soul has died. from the outside it appears that im normal so no one takes me seriously. people got their own problems i know, and i wish i could be a more useful person. if i cant be happy i could try to make other people happy at least but im incapable, kinda dumb and weak. i just want to stay in bed, dont even want to eat anything anymore.