Best Friend Suddenly Ended Friendship

Hi all,

So my (24F) best friend (24F) (both of us queer) suddenly ended our friendship today. She said stuff about how we've grown apart, going down separate paths, etc. Sudden, yes. I am kind of in shock. That stuff may be valid from her perspective, though. Because I know it is natural for even the closest of friendships to end. However, it is the odd conversation we had over the span of a few days before then and something that happened in the past that is really throwing me off.

She had been a bit distant from normal for about 2 weeks. Then, she told me she was dating a guy. I asked her if that was why she had been distant from me (bc this had been a pattern in the past when she dated people). She also said that she was "nervous" to tell me. She said that she "knew it would" upset me and that it is an issue that she feels like she can't tell a friend this. I tried to ask her why she thought she couldn't tell me and she said that it is the way that I act and the things I say when she just simply talks about dating someone hypothetically. Such as she said that I said that she "needs to absolutely be single." I am very confused because I've said nothing of the sort. I did make sure though that I apologized that if I said or did something to make her feel that way, it was unintentional. I also said if that is the case then she needs to call me out on it so that way I can clarify it for her in the moment about what I mean. 

This reminds me of an in-person conversation that we had last month when we were hanging out. She mentioned something about dating apps. I was like "Oh you're on dating apps now?" I said this with a tone of surprise bc she hates dating apps. She said, "No I am not on them because I know you wouldn't like it." I was very confused and told her that I wouldn't care in general at all if she was on them and that it would make it hypocritical because I had used them before. I asked her why she thought I would be upset and she said "I don't know." I didn't question her further, but maybe I should have.

In Jan 2021 she started dating a guy and I didn't find out about it until two months into their relationship. I was curious about why she hadn't told me, because before she had been very open about her relationships. She said that she didn't tell me because I knew she'd be upset. I questioned her about why she thought that, and all I got was an "I don't know." Later on, after that relationship ended, she admitted to me that she hadn't told me because she was embarrassed about him (they weren't in a good relationship) and that it wasn't anything I had done. I asked her if she was sure, and then she said yes.

So now, here she is again telling me that she felt I would be upset if she told me. I was very confused and my brain went and tried to search for an instant where I could have said or done something that would make her think that. I then pointed out to her that in her last relationship, she said that I would upset her, and then turns out that wasn't the case. I told her that I felt confused and I was trying to understand the truth of what was going on right now. In her next text, she didn't acknowledge what I said, but then just ended our friendship.

I just wanted some thoughts from some fellow queers. Or any similar stories even for anyone who has been through something similar. Why did she keep insisting I was controlling? Maybe it is very possible I was coming across as controlling and didn't realize it. Or maybe for some reason, she was hoping for me to be upset?

Any advice or guidance of how to navigate this very sad and confusing situation is welcome.