is it possible to not appreciate others people love ?

Hello, (sorry bad english)

(Btw Idk if it goes into the "relationship" flair which is alllowed only on fridays, because I don't really talk about dating and stuff, but if it does well just delete it I guess)

So like a lot of people here: I'm 25, never been with someone, don't really care about my family because we don't get along well. Got some friends I love to see from time to time but I don't talk with them much, especially because they have their own life and have friends of their own

Recently I was thinking about why am I like this, why does this happen to me, why so lonely, why I never had a girlfriend, why no friends

back in school when I was about 13/14, 2 girls said they liked me.
I've always been a dumb child/teen, had bad grades, and when it comes to relationship it was even worse. when these 2 came to me I immediately rejected them. I don't remember what I said to them, I really hope I was nice lol (but I feel like I would cringe a lot if I read the messages)

I just remember I was highly immature about romantic relationship and I wasn't looking for anything, it didn't even occur to me that I would be liked by someone at that age.

Looking back at these 2, I really feel like I missed something, they were amazing girls, smart, funny, good looking. Years later I even tried to contact one of her, we talked on IG, I asked her about 3 times if she wanted to meet but I never got any news the 3 times I asked so I abandonned. It was kind of obvious honestly, we were really young so of course she wouldn't be interested anymore but I still tried.

Anyway, besides the romantic part, I never feel like I appreciate other people's love (and to be fair, I never really felt sincerely loved in my life), a friend of mine said one time I was "one of his best friends" but, not only I didn't feel the same way but I also felt like it wasn't sincere from him, especially because he's the kind of guy that likes to be surrounded.

Birthdays: I had 3 birthdays partys threw for me in my life, which sounds amazing, but again, never felt like any of these were really sincere

first one was when I was super young, I invited a lot of kids from my class and we had a party in a Mcdonald.
it was fairly innocent we were just kids.

2nd one, was a surprise party the "best friend" threw for me at his house, because I could never make birthdays in my house because how small it is and how bad my parents would react if I invinted lots of people here.
I remember how awkward it was because I really don't have that much friends, so the people there were more of his friends, we were about 7.
one of my presents was a shirt, I remember I didn't like it the first time I saw it and I audibly said "a shirt !?" in disgust, which was lame as hell and I still hate myself for this.

3rd one, I think it was for my 23th birthday. this time it was with people I really liked spending time with. The party was great, but when I came home alone, I just had this impression that it was all for nothing, and it was just a temporary show of love (lol, now that I'm writing I feel really crazy)

Idk what is wrong with me, I really don't know if I don't appreciate these people love or if their love just isn't sincere or strong enough. Which concludes to my first question: is it possible to not appreciate others people love, even though I'm lonely as hell ?