Due to new NCAA rules division one baseball walkons and redshirts are counted and take up roster space. This just happened like two days ago.

I had planned to walk on to my university for the longest time. Turned down other offers I got from a bunch of other places because I wanted this one place. 

I showed up on their door so many times and got to know them and eventually got myself a spot.

And two days ago they called me in their office and said, “we are so sorry. We’d love to have you but due to new rules we can’t carry another man.”

Yeah it hurt. It hurt a lot. But I’ve been reading Never Finished and I knew this was a possibility.

The next day I ran a half marathon. No training. Cramps and all. It was tough. But I got to get in the lab.

I know I have more in me than just baseball. Baseball was just something I did for fun that had a big aspect of discipline to it. Yeah it sucks. That was my dream. But I’m gonna be just fine.

Today I’m still recovering. Yesterday I couldn’t walk much. I’m not taking any pain supplements. I kinda wanna feel the soreness and sit with it.

I don’t need your kudos. I just wanted to let y’all know that this dream of playing division one ball was my everything. And it got taken away right as soon as I made it. But because I mentally prepared and spot checked my mind, I didn’t spiral like I think I would’ve. 

I highly recommend the next time one of your dreams gets crushed you immediately do  something that your mind doesn’t think you can do. As you’re processing those feelings and thoughts. And all that self respect and doubts about who you are come right back. Cause you realize you’re still that guy. David wasn’t lying. Stuff works. Stay hard homies.

The ending of my biggest dream lead to me running and completing a half marathon the next day. Thanks David.