Is there a way to permanently remove asshair?

I know, bit of an odd question indeed.

But let me make this clear: I am dead serious.

So, is there any way of permanently removing the hair from my nuclear region?

The reason I’m asking is ‘cause my ass hair grows back at a phenomenal rate. In about a week give or take after having a freshly shaved bum, I begin to get a case of gorilla ass.

And for those of you who know the struggle of shaving your ass, you know that it’s an artform that is extremely difficult to master. As such, by the end of the typical shave sesh, I end up looking like I accidentally sat on a bunch of knives with the amount of cuts and knicks I have. It’s unflattering and painful and gross.

I know the common response is likely gonna be something like, “Just thug it out, bro 🤙” but you don’t understand… I HAVE BEEN. If God was really real, I’d like to hear his reason why he gave men ass hair (this is a sarcastic remark, Christians!)

Anywho, thanks for reading. While I’m not particularly fond of the idea of (likely) getting my ass permanently shaved by a laser or something of the sort, that option would be marginally more reasonable than needing to shave my ass every damn week.

(They used to call me the hairy asshole in high school.)