AITA for not letting my mom invite all of her friends to my wedding

Hi everyone. I (21M) was recently married to my wife (23NB) about a month ago. Things are going great and I’m very happy with my choices. My mother (60F) has a bit of a difficult reputation. She had a very bad drinking problem when my brother and I were kids, and treated us very badly. She also has a habit of acting crazy when she doesn’t get her way. There was a large fight in 2020 that broke up our family, and my brother pretty much cut contact with her.

I didn’t talk to her for some time after this, but in 2022 I resumed contact with her at the behest of my dad, who is very nice and personable. Our relationship was going great for a few years and then I started planning my wedding earlier this year. I designated 13 invites to her for a venue for 60 (it was a small wedding) and she was not happy about it. She implied that my wife was controlling me, and not allowing me to invite her friends (even though I have only met some of these people once or twice). She also was rude to me about my name on the invitation. The name I used is a more feminine version of my legal name, and she accused me of being gay or transitioning to a woman (she’s a boomer so this for her is like having her heart cut out).

About 2 months ago she keeps hassling me about the guest list, and she is insisting that I allow her to invite to more people, which I said no to because although we are at capacity, I would have to take away my guests that I invited.

She. Went. Ballistic.

She started screaming at me. She said that she deserves my invites more than me, and that because I have shown her such disrespect in this situation, I know owe her ALL 30 of my half of the guest list. Keep in mind I moved out at 19, and aside from my dad paying for my school (she’s a housewife) I’m pretty established on my own. I said no and left her house.

They were originally gonna host my rehearsal dinner, however because of her behavior I decided I wasn’t going to have her host it as she has a habit of holding gifts against me (although my dad never lets her collect on that). My wife sent a text relating to this change and she again asked if we would let her invite more people, and we said no. She then sent this very rude text to my wife saying that we are disrespecting her, that her friends are more important than mine because my friends are recent friends from school and work and because her friends have known me my whole life they are more important. She ended the text by saying that if I didn’t let her invite more people, she would not be attending.

SPOILER: she went

The day of the rehearsal came and she was extremely pouty. She was rude to multiple people, and this extended to the wedding day. I had so many complaints from my in laws to my friends to even my photographer saying she was rude. She also refused to give up my best man’s escort’s seat and I had to go down there and make her do it (I was very calm).

My dad told me that he wants to forget this happened, however after the wedding day he has stopped saying that, which is reassuring. He’s very sensible. However, I find myself wondering if I handled it well, or if I should’ve just given her what she wanted. She is my family, and I do love her. But I find myself wondering if I did something wrong. AITA?