Confusion regarding answers to, "Is (X) unattractive?"
Posted May 18, 2013, 9:02 AM UTC
68
Is (x) a physical feature or a personality feature? If it's the fact that you are insecure about your four noses that is quite different to being into beastiality.
9
[deleted]
0
Don't derail.
2
"No, it's not unattractive, just don't talk about it 24/7" is very different from, "You don't have to talk about (X)."
Suppose I don't like horror movies and you do. You can mention something interesting, like "I saw (X) movie and it was really cool." I'll say, "Cool! I bet it was fun." Then we move on.
If you say, "I saw (X) movie and (Y) horrific thing went on in great detail," I'll be squicked out and won't want to have sex with you.
If every single time we hang out you say, "Hey I really like horror movies! Horror movies are the best type of movies! You should really try horror movies," that is unattractive.
It's about level of communication. For example, you should not tell your girlfriend that you masturbated to her friend. Is that dishonest? Maybe. Is it a really bad idea to tell your SO that you masturbated to somebody else? In almost all situations, yes.
2
This post has been removed because r/AskWomen requires that posts have a descriptive question in the title. Please read the rules before posting in the future.
If you have questions regarding the removal, please message the mods.
1
I'm not sure what exactly you have in mind, but it is possible that the women you are talking about are telling those men that women might not even notice whatever it is the man is insecure about if he never brings it up in the first place. In other words, perhaps the man cares more about it due to his insecurity than the average woman does.
Man, that is actually a very interesting answer. I wouldn't have thought about it that way.
Thank you. :)
To be fair, it works the other way around, too. I've been insecure about certain things, but guys I've been with have helped me realize that they didn't care about what I was so worried about being judged for as much as I did. Being bullied as a child or even as a pre-teen/teenager can have such an effect on the mind that you think other people will judge you the exact same way, too. But it's not always that way.