I went to Costa Rica for two Ibоgа ceremonies, an ancient sacred plant medicine - AMA

“Your life is the expression of your mind”

I went to Costa Rica to undergo two Ibogа ceremonies, three days apart.

Ibogа is an evergreen shrub found in Central Africa, indigenous to Gabon, Congo, and Cameroon. It has been in the center of Bwiti tribe spiritual practices, dances and rituals for hundreds of years.

Ibogа is known to be used to treat opioid addiction, although that’s not what I went to Costa Rica for.

Typical ibogа trip lasts for about 12 hours, is usually taken at night and usually causes insomnia for the following night or two.

In high doses (known as “flood doses”) it paralyzes your body (similar to drunken state), so the whole ceremony is spent laying on a mat, with an assistant available at all times to help you with basic needs.

I first heard about this plant medicine from an interview; one of the founders of a retreat center (not ours) talked about his journey and how one ceremony of ibogа healed him from years of severe substance addiction, smoking and a myriad of other things. According to him, his one ibogа ceremony was more effective than him being in therapy for 10 years prior to that. Ibogа had completely transformed him as a person and made him a "better human being", especially in relations to others.

This was one of the stories that led me to research ibogа and its effects. I knew there is truth that can be found in it, and found it strange how it’s so little known. Even I didn't know this word when I first heard of it.

I wasn’t new to psyсhеdеliс states by any means, although I’ve taken them in modest doses in the comfort of my own home in the past, but nothing close to the magnitude of ibogа.

What led me to do this?

I’ve never been a part of any ritual or ceremony before. However, I was (and still am) extremely curious about psуchеdеliсs, plant medicine, and what lies beyond our psyches; I wanted to take a deep good inside myself to hopefully come out of it a better person. I was feeling a little lost in life, struggling with feelings of stagnation and persistent depression on and off.

I believe there’s tremendous wisdom that can be found in nature. I look at plant medicine and psуchedеliсs as Easter Eggs on our planet, hidden everywhere for us to discover. Ibоga isn’t as well-known as others, but the moment I learnt it exists, I knew I need to try this.

After some research, I found a retreat center in Costa Rica and booked my flight.

There were a few medical exams I had to undergo before I flew: blood test, liver panel and EKG. They all came out normal and my cardiologist, when heard I’m going on a plant retreat ceremony, smiled knowingly and wished me a healing journey.

Finally, I arrived to Costa Rica and was picked up at the airport along with seven other participants. Our journey on the bus was two hours; the front gates opened and we saw our healers (known as n'gangas) in person for the first time - in this center, there were two of them. Our retreat center looked like a piece of paradise: nature, palm trees, private rooms, two dogs running around, a cat, a child, fluorescent orange butterflies, hummingbirds and howler monkeys living on trees.

Later on we had integration circles where we got to meet one another, along with a nurse, a doctor, a few assistants, a chef, and two n'gangas, who assisted us through our whole stay. During our stay, we had all our basic needs met and well taken care of, so that we could give our full attention to our inner work.

Prior to our first ceremony, we wrote down a list of questions for ourselves, to be read later to us by our n'gangas during our spiritual journeys.

My first ceremony was very much like being severely poisoned: my body felt restless, I felt extremely uncomfortable and was purging a lot: sweating and throwing up. All eight of us were purging, which was to be expected: as they say, our bodies were getting rid of negative energy. Purging itself didn’t feel painful; in fact, quite the opposite.

At the same time, your mind opens up and is right in front of you. You can access any memory and even see how some of them were formed. It's hard to choose what particular thought to focus on; instead, many instances of your life is flashing in front of you and teaching you lessons, albeit very fast. It’s your chance to reorganize some memories and let some of them go. Now is a chance to look deep inside of your own psyche, the part that’s usually accessible when you are deep asleep: the subconscious mind.

The ganga went through my list of questions with me that I wrote down to myself. Often times, I had to ask to repeat the question: I couldn’t form memories on ibоga. During the experience I had literally no short-term memory function as the plant medicine simulates REM sleep, all while keeping you wide awake, essentially causing a dreaming state without being asleep. Short term memory is deactivated, as the body has no real use for it.

Good thing they wrote down all our answers so we could re-read it later! My questions and answers would make for another post, but I can elaborate on that if you are interested.

The whole night we were laying down on our mats with blankets and pillows, listening to Bwiti music. Bwiti music is tribal, fast, and quite repetitive. It helped form visions and slowed down my thought process. Every second felt like an eternity. Even though I was safe physically and felt in safe hands, it felt like what it feels like on a deathbed, that’s the best way I can describe it. In this state, you can peek behind the curtain and see what’s out there, on the other side.

During my second ceremony, which was three days later, I found the answer to my main question: my depression was caused by the protective mechanism of my brain. Such an obvious answer, yet I saw exactly how it was sitting in my brain and I could fully comprehend it and finally process it.

I found many more answers. Ultimately, I learned to accept myself.

If I could describe ibоga in two words, I would say it is a mindfulness medicine. After this experience, I’ve never felt more present and mindful in my life before. While walking, I could feel every step, the sensation in each foot. Not the usual thinking I did while walking. I wasn’t thinking at all. I let my body feel very sensation, feel every breath. My whole body felt rested. My spine straightened up. My skin looked glowing, like after a year-long vacation.

What’s more impressive was witnessing the physical transformation of other participants. I could see the physical effects in my whole group. In the span of eight days that we spent together, two 12-hour night ceremonies, everyone got a bright light in their eyes, a red color in their cheeks. It was quite remarkable – it almost looked like everyone got a facelift. They call it “iboga facelift”, haha. Some call it “ancient surgery”.

Doing it with others was also a great chance to witness other people on the path of letting their own entities go.

The answers we got from a list of questions we all wrote down to ourselves were ridiculously simple. For example: “let it go”, "just let it be", "be present". And yet, only now we have truly grasped the meaning of those words through this experience.

Now, after two months, I feel pretty much back to my normal self. Except, something has changed. I don’t nearly have that much negative dialogue inside my head as I used to. My mind is not racing all the time.

I feel I have more compassion towards everyone, and especially towards myself. I feel like a better version of myself, although there is still a lot of work that needs to be done. As they say, ibogа journey is just a seed, and it is up to us how we decide to cultivate it when coming back to our everyday life, habits and routines.

So much more I can share, but the post is already long... AMA