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feel awakened, hopefully will stay like this without my tics and can go back to being my more natural less over protective self. full of flaws but have to settle back in that awakened state of the -- lights feel a little brighter have to be healthy no more tight rope walking please fucking please no more over protection hurriedness just in yourself and able to be grounded in the way that you are that you can be that you are who are you "I" mature no fucking fawning just here it's already too late so you may as well start now fucking what the fuck you are your self your being fucking be here your here just settle you can see it you're here your feet are on the ground you're here you can see it you can see the whole field breathe there you are there you are and be here please the time why just be here why why did you why just be here please. here