I think I have the worst insomnia of anyone I've ever known.

Hi there, this is a bit of a rant / vent post. I'm in peri, not full blown menopause just yet. I was 40 when the pandemic hit. I had one good year of lockdown before getting deathly sick with covid. I "did everything right". I fought so hard to come back from that. It nearly took my life. Severe insomnia, anxiety, and depression were my first clues that something was terribly wrong. My lack of sleep is literally killing me. Name anything, you can be sure I've tried it, including ketamine. I've been on every sleeping pill. While they may make me drowsy, they don't help me truly sleep. On progesterone and testosterone. Had my vitamin levels looked at. I feel so hopeless having exhausted every avenue. I've developed severe hypnic jerking while trying to sleep. This is muscle spasming. They are intense and relentless. I tried an antiseizure med called keppra and it's not working. Sleep used to be my refuge and superpower. I did one sleep study, and am due for another one. I feel so hopeless with every suggestion not working for me. I can go for days averaging maybe on hour or two of stage one sleep. I've been admitted to the psych ward on a 72 hour hold it was so bad. I did CBT-1. Something in my brain is broken. I want to stay alive for the remainder of my parents lives. I hope I can do, it. Not so sure now.