I have plans

I won't do a big ass explanation bc I'm low-key lazy asf but yeah I have plans. I can't take ts anymore I've been struggling ever since I was 6. I feel horrible hurting people around me but I genuinely cannot do this anymore. Life isn't for everyone. And it certainly wasn't for me. I've tried professional help, they've done nothing but put me on a 3 year waiting list for ADHD when i literally told them i wanted to kms and hallucinations and i sh. I hate the mental health system, I'm literally crying while writing this, every day is horrid. I first tried when I was 9 years old. My last will be at 13. I would've done it much more earlier than this but I wanted to see my childhood best friend that moved to Romania one last time. Done, she went back now. I wanted to see my family in France for the last time. Done, I went to France. And I wanted to have one last birthday, to be an official teen. August 5th was my birthday. And i want my friend to have one last good birthday (sept 23) sadly school starts in Sept. It kills me thinking about suicide. I hate it so much I but I genuinly cant bear with this pain anymore.. September 27, here I come. Thank you for reading this, have a great day/ evening/ night. 🫶