Struggling to Enjoy Sex Without Pregnancy Fantasy—Need Advice

Hey everyone,

I’m looking for some advice or shared experiences. I’m a 47-year-old guy who recently remarried, and my wife and I have a great connection. We both have kids from previous relationships, and when we got married, we talked about having one more. However, she’s since decided she doesn’t want more kids. I 100% support her decision—we’re a team—but I still have this intense desire to have another child, and it’s taking some time to work through that and accept things.

The challenge is, my sexual arousal and ability to climax are heavily tied to the fantasy of getting her pregnant. It’s become a block for me—I can enjoy sex and last as long as needed, but without that fantasy, I struggle to finish.

I love the intimacy we share, and I don’t want this to create a barrier between us. Has anyone else experienced something similar, or does anyone have suggestions on how I can shift my focus or explore new fantasies that might help me enjoy sex more fully without relying on this one?

I’ll just say in closing that I know how difficult it would be for a couple in their 40s to have another child. Yes, it’s terrifying to a lot of folks out there, and I agree it’s awfully late. There are other factors in my life that complicate things (e.g., my daughter had a brain injury and is disabled), but I don’t want to distract from my core question.

Thanks in advance!

TL;DR: My sexual arousal and ability to climax are tied to the fantasy of getting my wife pregnant, but she doesn’t want more kids. Looking for advice on how to shift focus or explore new fantasies to enjoy sex without relying on this one.