What was causing your painful sex and how did you fix it?!

Hey ya'll. I have never had pain-free sex. I had kind of given up hope, didn't want to deal with the gynecologist anymore, but I'm going to try again in two weeks. Doctors I've seen in the past all told me that my muscles fail to loosen during sex due to a physical manifestation of trauma which causes me to get microtears during intercourse but I just don't want to believe that and I'm begging the universe for some other answer. I've tried an estrogen cream, numbing creams, and lube but none of that has helped. Tears are only around the entrance of the vagina, nothing internal. Mainly pain with initial penetration, fine during, then pain/uncomfortability for 1-3 days after. The microtears also cause me recurrent yeast infections and the whole situation is just a nightmare overall.

I've been doing a lot of thinking recently and I was wondering if maybe my microbiome is/has always just been messed up which could maybe lead to some of the irritation? So maybe probiotics would help? I've also been on the same birth control pill (Estarylla) since before I first had sex, so maybe switching BC could help? I'm looking for other suggestions to bring up during my appointment because I'm especially annoyed that the birth control thing was never brought up before. Thank you!!