Day 17

I (39m) am hitting 17 days today. My urges are mostly quiet although I'm not feeling any different. Still unable to smile or feel any kind of happiness. Still awkward AF. I've been trying to be as social as I can with mixed results. It's like there is just something baseline unlikeable about me that repels other people. Still, I'm doing my shitty best

Maybe things are going slower because I've been whacking it to my imagination once every Sunday.

Yesterday I did look up a little P without realizing what I was doing, force of habit, but I closed the window quickly. This isn't what I want for myself.

All I can do is keep going, with the memory of the things I've lost as my motivation

Good luck to all you guys and gals going through this. Fighting this really sucks. I believe in you

NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!