The age gap. Me: 28M Her: 20F

I was 19 and he was 27. I was just out of high school when we first met and with the "im a grown up now!" mindset, I loved how more mature and wise he was. I believe that he enjoyed being with me for the youth aspect and was annoyed at all his friends getting married and having babies, I was refreshing. I also think he enjoyed me always relying on him for various things. However, for me he was fun at first but it quickly grew old. I loved playing video games with him and all but I also enjoyed going out with my friends who he didnt like because they were "so immature." I had always dreamed of getting married and I thought that by 20 I would be ready when he was. Our idea of what marriage was like was very different. I obviously had a lot to learn and unlearn (growing up with all the disney princesses will cause distortion..). After a while it was obvious things were just not working. Its been 6, 7 years since that relationship and I fully appreciate all the lessons I learned from that experience. The last time I talked to him he was engaged and had totally changed (for the better).

I was 17 he was 27 when we met. I thought there was chemistry. Now that I am 27 I see he was using cheap pick-up artist "techniques" to get my attention (ie the first time I heard of "the neg" I instantly went back to those first few months, ugh). We ended up staying together until I broke it off. I was 24 at that point. It was the worst relationship ever. He eventually became manipulative. He was very insecure and often played mind games to as a form of discipline. He would loose his shit over weird things. He began treating me like a child. I was a happy over achiever when we met. I had just started going to a university. He alienated me from my friends. He would put me down. When I was accepted to graduate school he essentially tried to dissuade me from going. Anyhow, this is a worst case scenario. If you are not a jerk and are aware that you are in different stages in your lives and you can respect her growth process then proceed with caution. Make sure she is a better person for being with you. Some benefits, you may be able to provide more stability (if you have your life together) than a boyfriend her age might not. Your guy friends might think your a stud, others might think you are a creep and that there must be a reason why you can't date women closer in age to you. It is not the gap that is concerning by the way, it is the different life stages that people are generally in in their early 20's. For example, I would be totally ok dating a 37 year old (I am 27). But I do not think my previous situation was ok (17 and 27).