Why do I feel like she has won and when will this feeling stop?

I won't go into a lot of details here. There is another post here on Reddit with all the info. But, to keep it short, my ex-wife cheated on me with her boss (13 years older, ex-military with some PTSD, lives in another country quite far away), started a new relationship with him before I even knew about the affair and once confronted, asked for divorce. Saying that I was devastated is an understatement. This happened about three months ago and the divorce is final for more than a month now.

She moved out, but we decided that for the sake of our child, to remain in the same building complex. Transition for the child is easier if the distance between us is minimal. And for the most part I've been doing decent. Keeping busy, spending as much time with my child as possible, doing things that essentially replace one train of though with another. Or so I though.

Yesterday has been really hard, with me having a down period which I did not have for about a month now. Things are far from the way I want them to be and I keep thinking that she has won in all this, despite her betraying me and our family so much.

In the three months since I found about the affair she has already flew 3 times to see him, all on "business trips" so without her spending a cent from her pocket. Has another trip planned on about a week (something that angered me since she won't be here for when our child will start school) and the AP will come to our country in October... and she was searching for accommodations for him IN THE SAME BUILDING COMPLEX AS WE CURRENTLY LEAVE.

I don't know the exact status of their relation at the moment, but judging from what I know, they are still acting as if they are in love and had been with the wrong person up until they met. They are doing stuff together, visiting locations each time she goes there, he buys her gifts and so on.

And I see no repercussions for their actions at all. Her family has supported her (or at least accepted the situation quite easy), both still work in the same company despite the ethical implications and she is currently on vacation with our child, a vacation that was planned before al this s**t show and we should have taken all together as a family.

Meanwhile, I am still having my ups-and-down, still far from where I want to be, still don't how or with whom I can rebuild a family and the fact that I don't see my child each day is devastating (actually, one of the worst things so far and I almost cry each time I have to send the child to her). I am actually scared for what impact the AP could have on our child. I just want to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but so far I am still seeing just darkness and the occasional "match light" from the activities I am doing to keep me busy.

And I know what you are going to say. That i won because I left a cheater. That they are the looser since they will have to leave with another cheater. But I don't see it that way... She never cheated up until then and will probably not do it again. He is more successful than I am, has more money, treats her well and I fail to see how I could come out on top from all this.