I'm ugly and unlovable, a victim of childhood neglect, a victim of bullying, and have extreme needs of being loved. What do I do?

I always thought I could survive without love but right now I feel so so needy. I have an online friend and I am expressing that I need emotional support from them and they said "I cant give u that, I am fucked up too". We've been talking for almosy a year now and this is the only person I consider friend.

I think Im just unlucky. I end up with people who dont really give a shit about me, and it causes my needs to keep growing and growing. What do I fucking do? I am tired. Why do I have to be so needy?!!!! I haye everything. I wish the world ended right now.

I am tired of people not being able to make eye contact with me because of my hideous appearance. I try everyhing but genes are genes. I cannot change them. I cannot change my bone structure. I am friendly but people dont wanna get close with me. I have many acquaintances but none of them bother to know me.

Idk whqt Im going through. I think I am going insane. I cannot believe depression is this difficult.