“I needed another type of love”

That is one of the last texts sent by my now ex. I can’t even deal with the anger and hurt from the way he is framing this.

I forgave blows to my face, humiliation and insults for hours, repeated choking attempts, dislocated my jaw, intimidation, accusations for things I did not do, just pain… my family and friends did not know the details and they just knew something was off, and I even went against them defending him. Never denounced him legally because I didn’t want him to lose his job or affect his whole life… Falling apart and trying to be there for him, just to make him happy. And he says I did not value or love him as he needed to.

When I spoke my concerns, he would tell me how it was always at the wrong time (before work, after work, during the week, during the weekend when he is trying to rest, were always the wrong time). I couldn’t question him either, I had to agree with him on subjects to avoid conflicts and him blowing up.

For him, I was the reason for the issues and all his aggression. I was the one that “pushed buttons” when in reality it was me questioning his flawed statements. For example, I can’t accept that he justified going out with a girl he used to have interest in and was not going to tell me. I found out myself. The justification he wanted me to accept was that I went out with family and friends too many weekends, and it was “evident” I was avoiding him. “And only you and God know if you were with friends and family for real.” So I guess he HAD to go out with this woman. Mind you, sometimes I would avoid him because he was being violent. I also just like to hang out with friends and family. That is normal to me. He dislocated my jaw the day before seeing another woman. And he talked more about me triggering him (making me the responsible one), than the blow to the face and me running away from life threatening actions. And I still gave him my car to go to work, I took care of him best I could even when I felt like garbage every day.

And the last thing he wants to say is that I didn’t give him the love he needed nor did I value him. That is how delusional and selfish these people are.

I really don’t know what to do with this feeling of pain and anger. I feel like these 3 years went to waste, and I gave all this effort in vain. This person did not deserve so much from me, only to say I needed to give more… I feel undervalued and worthless.

(Thank you to anyone that read the whole thing.)