[1747] When the Past Recedes (Draft 2)

Hi, thank you for the critiques last week, I’ve been reworking this since. I also finally decided on a name, which may change, but yeah. Please let me know if there are any parts that don’t make sense as this is only a second draft and be as destructive as you like. I’m working on it for a publishing competition in my city so any advice is very much appreciated <3

I also just learned how to use google docs.

https://docs.google.com/file/d/1SbJ-fjq9FD8OP5_LnkjoKtJKLeI7ASH7/edit?usp=docslist_api&filetype=msword

My critique: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/s/YSugpm9phZ