Simping for my first love (Volume 3)

I grew up in a full female household, as such, I was close friends with a lot of girls throughout my childhood. I had no guy friends for many, many years. My first best friend, a female, eventually became someone I grew to love when I was old enough to learn those feelings. We were best friends for many years, elementary school all the way until middle of highschool when she moved. We’ll call her Katie.

Prior to highschool, there wasn’t anything too simp-like. In middle school, we had a stupid bus system that didn’t allow her on a bus, but I was - even though we were only like 10 minutes walking distance apart. So oftentimes, I accompanied her on her walk home so she wouldn’t have to walk alone. We hung out almost everyday in middle school. I became almost their second son, I often ate dinner at their place and helped out with chores that she didn’t want to do. I slept over many times as well. Katie is the deepest I’ve ever been in the friend zone.

Having been too young at the start of highschool to have a job, my only source of income was my lunch allowance in highschool. Anything I didn’t spend, was leftover cash for me to spend as I wished.

Now I didn’t come from a wealthy background by any means, middle-class as a result of a parent who was good with saving & investing money. Katie came from a much lower-income background. I often felt bad for her because of this. As such, during these early years - I always split my lunch allowance with her. The allowance wasn’t enough really to cover for both of us. The only way it was enough to cover us both is if we both got a single slice of pizza with a student deal. Sometimes, Katie wanted something different than pizza, so we would order an individual meal from another place like ManchuWok, or Subway & split it. I’d also grab a 2L water to supplement the meal for myself, as it wasn’t quite filling enough on its own for me. It was honestly a pretty good method for calorie restriction though and let me keep the weight off in highschool for a few years.

She eventually moved halfway through grade 10. At this point, I had a job and was making some income - so I was finally able to spoil her with my little funds I had. Before getting my car, I used to bus 3 hours to visit her once a month, sometimes twice a month. Whenever I came up, I’d treat her to a dinner at east-side Mario’s, her favourite restaurant. We would also go and do some activities like movies, or the amusement park which I would also pay for.

After a year of doing that, she confessed to me and said that she realized I was the only person that ever actually cared for her - especially compared to her ex boyfriends. I came over one night when her parents were gone to stay the night. I was too innocent to realize this meant she wanted to have sex, looking back on it, I kick myself at my blindness. This was my first opportunity to have sex and I made a complete fool of myself. 8 years later, I am still a virgin - I partially blame this situation for completely ruining my confidence.

We hung out a few times after that, but she had completely lost feelings for me after that. She then got into a serious relationship and we drifted apart - never to speak again.