I want to want to live

I feel so alone and desperate i have no friends i've never been in a reltionship & i need comfort but not the kind family can provide i feel like i don't fit in nowhere is hard for me to talk to people to go outside & meet strangers terrifies me but i feel like i can't be lonely any longer recently a though is been constantly present at the back of my mind to just end it all & i feel myself closer to the edge every day my life is just a constant loop of nothingness i habe nothing i am nothing