[Giveaway] XCOM: Enemy Unknown (PC)

NSFW.

Hello, prospective Commanders. I have a Steam key for XCOM: EU that I have been sitting on since preordering Bioshock Infinite on GMG. Since it's not a Steam gift, it's basically useless for trading, and since everyone I know already has it or doesn't want it, I figured I'd try to find someone who might actually play it. But I can't just give it to anyone. You have to demonstrate your strategic prowess to me.

If you are interested in winning the key, post your Steam profile and a proposal for an effective defense strategy against a fleet of alien spaceships hellbent on wiping out humanity. Assume you have the full resources of mankind at your disposal but only a matter of weeks to prepare. At 8pm EDT tomorrow (5/25), I'll choose the person I think could save us all from total annihilation.

Edit: This is an NA key, and I really have no idea if it can be redeemed anywhere else. So for those not from North America, be aware of that.

Edit: I'm currently making my choice.

For completely arbitrary and subjective reasons, I've chosen Jayel1204. Some of you had some really interesting entries, and a couple really fucked up ones. Thanks for playing.

Posted May 24, 2013, 11:49 PM UTC · edited

3145
moyako•

profile

I'd simply deploy my SSADDVs following standard procedures. They won't be able to take our planet, and we'll crush them with barely any casualties (there's always an idiot who falls down the stairs in a hurry).

Honestly, I could tell you what 'SSAADV' stands for, but then I'd have to kill you, fellow commander, and I'd like to win that game.

Thanks for giving away this!

3
TimthosOP•

You forgot your Steam profile.

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moyako•

Sorry. It's fixed now

1
FayeGrimm•

Steam profile

Originally I was planning to train a non-genocidal child in the arts of war and then trick him into commanding our own fleet in combat against the aliens in what I tell him is a simulation. Unfortunately I don't think a few weeks is enough time to create a fleet of combat ready spaceships as well as training a commander.

Since that's not an option, I'd plan to set up as many nukes as possible in orbit with as much stealth technology as possible.Take out as many of the ships as possible on their way towards the planet. Any ships within the atmosphere would be targeted with missiles. Hopefully they aren't too advanced, or all this will just serve to aggravate them. We'd set up something as close to Vaults(Fallout) as possible in the time given to protect civilians and hopefully have a last resort to carry on the human race. Now, we're going to hope the aliens land in Texas, since I'm thinking that all the paranoid and protective gun toting farmers could provide a great first line of defense. At this point we'd test the waters with a soldiers to see how outmatched we are, and we'd probably resort to guerrilla warfare to conserve lives. If we're lucky we'd be able to take on what remains of their forces with our own at this point, but if not some stealth mission to get something large and explosive into their mothership/center of operation would be the next priority. If that failed, hope that we can create psychic warriors using research from captured aliens. When all else fails and we run out of bullets, we'd probably start sending people inoculated with every known disease as biological bombs(yes, we're that desperate). If that doesn't work then we're screwed anyways.

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TimthosOP•

I haven't finished that book yet, you bastard.

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FayeGrimm•

Heheh, whoops... I'll just pretend I spun that out of my own imagination and have no idea what you are talking about.

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dededintheshed•

Rackham you bastard!

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FayeGrimm•

Hey, it (mostly) worked didn't it? I'm sure the kid will get over it.

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jayel1204•

http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197979996019/

It'll have to depend on the alien's level of tech, speed, and amount of time we're given to prepare for the invasion. If our long range scanners are able to pick out the aliens moving into our solar system, and we're given a few weeks or so, I'd have the nations of earth form hardpoints at every major city. I'd first activate all military units and reserves world wide and have them fortify and strengthen cities and create fortified underground shelters for civilian populations. I'd set up triage centers and pretty much prepare for casualties and catastrophic damage, should our initial defensive procedures fail. We'd move all important and essential personnel to underground bunkers and have them split, so not all of the world's command structure could be taken down in one shot if the bunker falls. Given the amount of time we have, I'd form a set of guidelines to follow, such that each command bunker is independent of one another, yet also working in unity with the goals of other bunkers. This would prevent confusion, and chaos should loss of command or communication occur.

Once the essentials have been completed, I'd would divide our world wide forces into 3 contingents. A reserve to fill any spots in our line, an initial force of volunteers who will make first contact (and basically test how effective our weapons are against the alien tech) and a secondary force to defend important structures and locations. The first contact contingent will then prepare for an aerial interception via waves of bombers and fighter jets. If we are unable to repel the alien host with missiles before entering our atmosphere, the fighters will attempt to prevent a landing.

If our tech proves ineffective and the aliens do land, I'd have our forces split into small cells (each following the preset guidelines) so that the enemy has no specific target to take out that would cripple our capabilities to fight. Each cell would resort to guerrilla tactics to try to distract and find a weakness in the invading force while simultaneously trying to acquire alien tech in our raids. The reason being, every society always creates weapons and body armor on a competitive scale. They try to make body armor impervious to their current weapons, and on the other end they also try to make newer weapons to penetrate their strongest current armors. If we can acquire alien tech, the next step is to reverse engineer and produce weapons capable of fighting the invading force. From there, it'll all be about making strikes and punishing the enemy for every step the take on human soil. When hard objectives are presented (such as an important target for destruction) we'd strike with our guerrilla forces in the area, take it out, and fade back into the shadows. We do this until we find a way to destroy or push out the enemy invasion. It'll be a long costly war, but if our tech is ineffective we really have no other way than to delay for time until we can find ways to hurt them, while at the same time preserving as much of ourselves as we can.

On the otherhand, if our tech IS effective...well they wouldn't make it past our upper atmosphere and most of our plans would be unnecessary.

2
TimthosOP•

Congratulations, you're the winner. Do you want me to send you the key in a PM or over Steam? Note: it is a key, not a gift, so you have to punch it in manually.

2
jayel1204•

Over PM would be great =) Thanks a ton!!! ^_^

1
user832906•

steam id
cover everyone in shit. head to toe. hope they get disgusted and leave us alone. only thing we can do against advanced technology. once they leave, party our asses off.

1
dabiont•

Hello fellow earth commander.

my strategy is as follows: spend as much time as possible studying them with recon teams and train the rest of our troops with the knowledge that we gain. overall facing them with upfront tactics might not be the most advisable option. I think the most effective strategy would be guerrilla warfare, or hit and run tactics to hopefully reduce casualties. long range missile strikes might be the best bet for this, and only under extreme pressure would I try and get a nuke in to obliterate them. other then that we might have to hope for the best in case there civilization is to advanced.

Edit: feel free to leave me questions if you would like to know anything. (regarding strategies. or anything in general if you would like =D)

Edit2: profile http://steamcommunity.com/id/Dabiont

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[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
wingmage1•

steam id

From my knowledge of watching movies, effective methods include nuking the mothership, waiting for them to catch colds and die or play folk music loudly. However, another way that could work and allow all of humanity to join in on the action would be guerilla warfare. Take them out one by one and attack key targets with bombs. If you want to prepare, ensure everyone has a weapon and a radio and organize a worldwide tactical assault.

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[deleted]•

[deleted]

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tehgoodburger•

steam id I would show them pictures of Amanda Bynes in court

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[deleted]•

[deleted]

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TimthosOP•

You forgot your Steam profile.

1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

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[deleted]•

[deleted]

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pandasmasherx•

http://steamcommunity.com/id/pandasmasherx

I would gather the powers of tourchwood, the doctor and the un and then use what resources i had to descover their weaknesses then challenge the leader under universal battle for the control of the earth

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[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
tmanga14•

http://steamcommunity.com/id/tmanga12

Make an alliance with all bomb-wielding countries, create as many tsar bombs as possible, and team up with nasa to shoot down those mother fuckers.

1
WaterproofWolf•

http://steamcommunity.com/id/WaterproofWolf/

My idea would be that we should try to find out where they are on earth, then we try to see how they fight. After we find out how they fight, then we find a loophole in their fighting plan, and we use that loophole to our plan.

If that doesn't work, then we could just bow to their needs.

1
vorash•
1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
lorien-4•

Steam Profile: http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198065703127

WARNING: WALL OF TEXT

Alright, if these aliens are truly hell-bent on destroying humanity and have very advanced technology, I'm going to say that some serious risks will have to be taken if we want to survive. My plan will almost certainly involve civilian casualties, but I don't think that we have too many options. My plan has a few stages, so let's get started at the beginning.

I don't intend to give these aliens any chance to survive, so I am going to work with the idea that we need to hit them repeatedly with increasing force. I will try to avoid civilian casualties, but I won't let them get in the way of victory.

Before they arrive (I'm assuming that I have ~6 weeks notice) I'm going to get all the world's nations allied against the coming threat. Anyone who doesn't join the alliance will receive no help or protection from the United Front Against Aliens (UFAA) until they join. I'll get all of the best scientists and engineers together and put them onto a few assignments. One group will design and launch probes that can tell us about the aliens. However, these probes will take a few weeks to meet the aliens, so all they really do is tell my the size of their army. In the meantime, I will have a group of scientists and engineers designing modular bioweapons that can carry any disease or parasite and spread them amongst the aliens. Probablyssome kind of rocket that sprays contaminated particles as it flies. I'll also have a bunch of evolutionary biologists and virologists designing lots of strains of crippling diseases that can just decimate a population. I'm talking about smallpox, polio, whooping cough, really anything that made a big dent in humanity. I want different strains of each, so that they can't make any vaccines. I'll then have the team create separate vaccines for each strain and distribute them to everyone in the UFAA.

While my scientific teams are working on these projects, I want every civilian possible preparing to go underground. I want people digging bunkers all over the place, preserving food and survival supplies, etc.

By this point we have about two weeks till the invasion. I'll have some space shuttles launch with some special cargo on board: fake space junk (meteorites) loaded with nuclear warheads and propulsion devices controlled from Earth. I'd have these meteors put on a course to intersect the path being taken by the aliens, and arrange for lots of those meters to be surrounding their ships at the same time. I'd detonate the warheads witch damages their ships physically, hopefully disabling a few. As an added bonus, the electro-magnetic pulse caused by a nuclear explosion should be able to fry the electronics on board at least one ship, leaving it stranded in space. Hopefully this preemptive strike will be enough to do a good amount of damage to their army.

Now, by the time they get here, they're pretty pissed. As they land, we begin firing our bioweapons at the landing zone to contaminate the area, hopefully reducing their numbers as soon as they open their doors.

I don't think that we stand a chance to fight them head on, but I think we can use the advantage of numbers. I'll scramble all of the UAVs I possibly can, and have them flying alongside several huge squadrons of fighters and bombers at their base camp. The attacks would be simple: approach at high speed, launch all the misses and bombs possible, fly back to base. Now, if they've landed in an area with a small number of civilians in bunkers underneath, I'm going to just get a couple nuclear missiles inbound and wipe them off the face of the earth. If there are people nearby, I'll continue the biological warfare. In the end, though, I'd nuke a civilian area if that's what it takes to get rid of the aliens.

tl;dr: Bioweapons and nukes, put people in bunkers, show no mercy

1
Just_a_tree•

community ID: rebirth1990

I'd gather all of the known trash of the earth, launch it into space right in orbit. As well as this, I'd take a large amount of chunks of the earth, then afterwards launch some nuclear warheads, effectively creating a debris field around the earth. Any alien menace trying to land would be forced to run through the mini asteroid field, suffering catastrophic losses before even coming into contact with the earth. And if they landed? Good luck trying to escape again. It'd be worse on the way out.

It's the only effective strategy I can think of, and a simple one. On top of this I'd have nuclear weapons on the moon. In case of imminent destruction of mankind or enslavement, I'd simply detonate the moon and let the tsunamis create mutually assured destruction.

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TimthosOP•

A space moat made of trash. How novel.

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