r/AITAH because I didn’t forgive my sister for what she did?

(Sorry for the faults, english isn’t my first language)

So the story can be long but basically my mom died of cancer when I was 10, I’m now 19, but it did affect my whole teenage years. My dad (who was abusive) became depressed and did nothing for us unless provide money (which is the minimum) but nothing emotionally. I have a brother (17) and a sister (23). My brother was partially educated by me when we were young (he was 8), we lived our lifes together, did a lot of things and he confessed to me a lot. I knew I did wrong sometimes and still did but I work really hard on myself to be the best sister possible. Our dad was really abusive mentally, we were never enough and he was so hard and controlling with me I developed BPD quickly. Now for my sister, our mom death affected her, but she acted like it didn’t. She wanted to become a second mother for us, which I was not fine with because she could never replace our mom. She spied on me to know my pc password (it was a family PC and from her room we can see the screen with a mirror), she tried to deprive me of the PC by changing my passcode, every day took my notebooks and tried to have me to work even if I was in middle school and had approximately good grades,yelled often, argued with my father, did a lot of comments on my body, during the lockdown forced me to do sport with her, and even slapped me when she discovered I sh myself etc… After she lefts for college, she came back rarely, and when she did, she apologized for all the things she did and promised to never do it again. I was fine with it until she came for Christmas in 2021, when she continued her toxic behavior. I tried to talk to her and she apologized again. 3 days later she did it again, and this time she said and I quote «I apologize but I don’t want to change my behavior» for me it was it so I cut all contacts with her. My father was angry at her for various reasons so he didn’t really cared but my brother keeps in touch with her, still hoping it would improve. Now we’re in 2024, I had my brother over at my apartment for a week (me and him were put into CPS care in 2022 after years of my father abuse and as he was on vacation, he came). My sister called and for a years now she tried to reconnect with me. I was reluctant and didn’t really cared but this time she pushed me to talk to her about my private life. I was really irritated and tell her about some things but definitely not everything (edit: she used to tell me that if I didn’t do this or that for her she would tell my secrets to my father). I was growing very frustrated and frustration is my biggest breaking point and a big trigger for my BPD crisis, so I changed the subject. Now for a year my family (cousins, aunts and uncles) try to push me to talk to her, to reconnect and to forgive her but after this conversation I see I just can’t, she did not change, I owe her nothing and to be honest I now have a very controversial opinion about family because of her and my father. I don’t think I should do efforts to keep in touch but my brother think I’m an ah for cutting her off completely (cutting her for 1 years was one of the best things I did, I feel free and not having someone over me everyday was relaxing). Now she is gonna be married soon, she studies, she had gone to therapy and she seems to have a good life but I don’t feel like be a part of it. She absolutely want to see me again (it has been since 2022 and she lives in another country), she pushes me to come see her and when I say I would go away to another country too she said she was going to see me there, even if I said clearly I didn’t want to see her again and said she would stay on the porch and stay here if she tries to come. So AITAH for not wanting to be part of her life?

Edit : my brother said that I think because he wants his family back, he always was into family but it’s not my thing. They both know that frustration is my biggest trigger and I already had a BPD crisis in front of them, they laughed and continued to do the thing that annoyed me until I was crying on the ground and pushing them with all my strength.

Edit : I now love my body and do a lot of sport I enjoy without feeling forced to do.