Hurting people in MDs biting me back in actual dreams.

I have been angry for a very long time, angry at people, the world, myself..etc For the longest time, I used maladaptive dreaming to let out that anger, I'd dream of hurting anyone who angers me, beating them until they are inches from death. When I was young I would hit other a lot but when I grew up I stopped and I never been into hurting others physically nor am I someone who would dare hurt others anymore, yet all of a sudden most of my MDs became either me screaming at people or hurting them.

I'm no longer as angry, I'd honestly use the word "Jaded" more now, as to explain where I am at feelings wise. But, I still have the same MDs, although I'm not even mad at those people anymore, although I've established that I forgave them, and moved on, yet I always envision them in my head.

A few days back, I had a dream where one of the people I MD about punching every now or then (Someone i was limerent over for years) was choking me to death. The dream was very vivid and surreal, terrifying, I can still describe how his hands felt. My brain somehow convinced me that this actually happened, so I was feeling so heavy, and no matter how many times I'd explain why I feel hurt because of that dream my friends keep telling me it's just a dream and that I need to chill. But, to me it wasn't a dream. To me it felt real, like he actually did it.

My theory is, my brain is punishing me for hurting those people in my MDs that they came for me in my dreams or maybe they were actually just me or my anger shaped like them? I don't know it's all weird and I'm unsure if it's connected but thought I'd give discribing it all a try in case anyone can relate.

I'm also thinking of maybe taking a kickboxing class or something to let out that repressed energy on, perhaps.