A friend (28F) said she had to take a guy on a "date" to impress her girlfriend. When I expressed concern, she said she was just hamming it up.

My wife (38F) and I (38M) have known Aspen (28F) for 5 years. Aspen identifies as neurodivergent. Last year Aspen started dating her girlfriend Birch (26F) and hanging out with Birch's friend group. This friend group has lots of traditions, such as members drawing names to take each other on 1:1 "dates." Recently my wife (38F) and I had Aspen over for dinner and she mentioned she was stressed about planning a fun date for Birch's long-time friend Oak (27M).

She wasn't expecting to be matched with Oak - who did the draw - and doesn't really know his interests very well. She also mentioned Oak has racy humour, e.g. he took Birch to a burlesque show for a "date" and gave her some embarassing art. Finally, she said the date will end up happening soon after Oak's wife gives birth to their second child.

When my wife and I asked why Aspen had to do this she said - I quote - "she has to impress the girlfriend." After she left we talked about it and realized we were legitimately concerned, especially because this is Aspen's first serious relationship and she seems really motivated to keep Birch happy. We decided to share our concerns with Aspen.

Yesterday I had a chance to talk to Aspen and share our concerns. She was nonplussed and defensive, but answered all my questions and clarified that she feels entirely comfortable doing this "date" and participating in this friend group, and Birch and her checked in and talked through it. When I highlighted how she specifically said she had to do it to impress Birch she said she was hamming up that angle. She also said that she's tired of people being overprotective/patronizing towards her and she wishes they trusted her more.

We left on good terms but now I'm wondering. Were we being overprotective? Or did we have good grounds to be concerned? I'm not trying to assign blame, just understand, especially as we come from different generations.

TL;DR: when I expressed concern about a friend saying she had to take a guy on a date to impress her GF she said she was hamming it up and I was overprotective. Was I out of line?