How do you guys know what to do

I just passed my BCBA exam on Tuesday but I’ve been a program manager since February. Lately I’ve just been wanting to cry and give up. I really feel like I failed upwards and just got really lucky and now I’m here and people are expecting me to know what to do and I really just have no idea. My boss doesn’t want me to only use programs from the assessments and wants me to be “creative” but she’ll tell me all her ideas and I don’t even know how she got there. I’m bad at giving feedback, I’m bad at proactive and reactive strategies, people ask me what to do about a behavior and I don’t know what to tell them and I don’t know how to figure it out. I thought being a BCBA was easier than being an RBT but that doesn’t feel true. Parent meetings are scary, observations are scary, I’m burnt out, I don’t even know where to start with programming, I’m failing all my clients not knowing what to do. I wish I never chose this career honestly. And besides all that my boss recently freaked out and said we needed to achieve 37 billable hours a week so I’m burnt out but I can’t quit because I signed a contract that I would work here for a year after getting my BCBA